Looking for Enablers

During the holiday season one can usually categorize individuals into two groups by observing their actions. The first group I will call Reapers. Reapers represent individuals who benefit from the work of others. For instance, if the company provides bonus checks for their workers, the reapers will know the exact time and date when their employer plans to disseminate the checks. The reapers will receive their checks prior to anyone else. The reapers will even know how they will use their checks, and how it will benefit them. Reapers' focus resides around themselves - me, myself, and more of me. The reapers believe that they must take care of self before they can aid anyone else. Their comments include "Love self before you can love others." Therefore, reapers' philosophy indicates that one must assist self before assisting others. This philosophy tends to lead individuals in activities toward collecting for themselves instead of providing for others.  

Now, the second group of individuals I will name as Enablers. Enablers experience life connections by focusing toward external capabilities. For instance, enablers visualize actions that will benefit others instead of how their actions will benefit themselves. Using the above  example of the bonus checks. The enablers will receive the bonus check after they identify how the check will benefit a love one like buying a present or paying an unpaid bill. Enablers seek opportunities to connect through activities that others will benefit. The philosophy of the enablers focus on their ability of providing the means for others to succeed. Therefore, enablers' fulfillment occurs as a by- products from connecting with others as noted below...

So I challenge you to become an enabler and connect with someone this holiday season.       

Where Do You Stand

Ask yourself this question, "where do you stand?" In other words are you pleased with your status? Are you pleased with your progress toward your goal, whether your goal is educational, spiritual, or physical? Hopefully, you will honestly think about this question.  If you are unable to declare a positive self inventory, then I suggest that you Learn to become resilient.

When an individual experiences disappointment, what occurs afterward determines his/her level of resilience.  Mainly, resilience entails  the ability to spring back. For instance, if you get knocked down from making a "F" in your math course, how do you respond? Usually, one will become depressed, upset, and even outraged because of the failing grade.  Some individuals see only hopelessness and develop the quit- now syndrome by expressing--"I just quit; I give up; College is not for me!"  However, I encourage you to learn to develop resilience. Learn to bounce back like a punching bag. Despite the severity of the blow, learn how to bounce back even if you receive multiply hits, just bounce back. A punching bag constantly returns to a standing position despite how many hits it receives; it keeps bouncing back.

One can learn a lot from a simple Bozo the Clown punching bag.

How does it remain standing from multiply hits? The answer relies in the weights at the bottom of the bag. When a hit occurs, the weight always remains in place while the air floats to the top causing the bag to return to its original upright stance. So if the bag receives a hit, it goes down, but it always returns to its original stance even if the bag receives several blows. Likewise, you too can place weights in your foundation while allowing the event that caused the setback to flow away. With this weighed foundation, as you get knocked down you will return to your original goal. 

To practice resilience first, realize that your goal whether educational, spiritual, or physical reflects your true goal not someone else's goal for you. Secondly, you must understand that failure allows you to develop who you are and understand what you must do to accomplish that goal. Failure never intends to make you feel unworthy, but it enables you to recognize the needed skill sets for success. Finally, realize that a resilient person resembles an optimist. An optimist engages in positive thoughts despite the circumstances. Therefore, a resilient person sees a setback different from the average person. The average person will see a half-filled glass of water as half empty but the resilient person sees the same glass as half full. So if you are experiencing a setback look for positive outcomes instead of the negative vibes while allowing the setback to float away from your foundation (goal). 

Now, stay on course toward your original goal and exercise resilience.