One of the greatest challenges in life revolves around overcoming regrets. We tend to dwell on past events that affect our presence just because we process cloistered messages that a regret will repeat again and again. Time ticks away if we live in the past. We must grasp the understanding that everyone experiences miss opportunities, miss relationships, and even miss events that plague even the best of us. Yet, how can you overcome these life realities of regrets that plays on our feelings of despair and hopelessness? The feelings of hurt constantly enter our lives through natural tendencies as a by-product of moving forward. However, the results of regrets must move toward positive instead of natural negativism that we often feels. So can one feel positive after a regret occurs or whether one has the power to overcome these hurtful regrets is the question we must ponder. I believe the lyric of “Hurt” by Christina Aguilera provides an insight to this question.
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh ooh
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes.
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again.
Sometimes I wanna call you but I know you won't be there
Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this, ooh, whoa
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am
As you listen to that song, focus on the lyrics as a regret in your life and try to answer the questions – Would you tell me I was wrong? Would you help me understand? Are you (regret) looking down upon me? Remember, regrets can really explore the inward feelings about your true intention as you understanding the hurt from that miss opportunity, that miss relationship or that miss event. Such understanding leads you toward growth. Experiences brings growth even Muhammad Ali quotes, "A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life." Basically, Muhammad Ali alludes to maturity which occurs with regrets as we experience life to its fullness. The understanding only occurs when you miss that opportunity, miss that relationship, or miss that event which unfold from unpredictably circumstances. Although, the outcome may seems like uncontrollable circumstances that we tend to react instead of processing for our betterment. Nevertheless, you can control the regret by imposing the feelings of positive instead of fatalism. The fatalist thinks that fixed events will occur no matter what and humans have no power to change future events. Yet, the realist grows with each regret while learning to make positive and different choices to move him or her toward identified goals. Remember, regrets occur naturally but you can control the reaction of your regrets. Move your reaction toward positive thinking with an optimist’s attitude. Like an optimist, you must strive toward your goal using different methods or exploring another avenue of approach just to create different results. As the old saying, “if you do the same thing over and over again you will get the same results.” So make that change to breathe a different result.
Always remember your experiences influence others despite your regrets for having that miss opportunity, miss relationship or miss event. Now as you journey through life embrace your regrets by controlling your inward feelings with an understanding of a purpose for that particular regret.
